Resolved

I've stated before that I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, since I prefer to do them on my birthday. This year, I'm changing it up a little bit.

I still have my birthday resolutions, but this year I'm adding one to begin on the new year.

Right now, I'm at the heaviest weight I've eve been. I feel fatigued a lot of the time, and I generally just don't feel good about myself. My clothes no longer fit, and I get winded every time I have to go up a flight of stairs. 

I've had a lot of people look at me and say "oh, you're not fat" or "you don't need to lose weight!". That's a really nice sentiment, and I'm grateful that people aren't flat out telling me I'm disgusting or anything like that, but it isn't really what I need to hear. 

I'll be brave for a second: at 4 ft 11 inches tall, I weigh 142 pounds. That puts my BMI at 28.7. Keep in mind that the obese category begins at 29.9 - less than ten pounds away in my case. I'm aware that the BMI is not a definitive measurement, or even completely accurate when taking muscle mass into account - but it is a good place to start. Trust me, I have barely any muscle mass to begin with, and I have a very small frame - any extra weight is guaranteed to be fat and not good for my health.

Not to mention, I have no chance of my insurance covering a surgery that I would like very much to have until I am within a "normal" BMI range. I need to lose approximately 40 lbs before I will be in that range.

I've found that every time I've tried to lose weight in the past, I get to a certain point and forget that I have no self control. I allow myself "treats", and then before I know it, I've gained everything back, and then some. This is going to be a very difficult habit for me to break. I need to be very aware of what I am putting into my body without resorting to my past habit of disordered eating. I need to get my body back into the habit of physical exercise. These are no small feats.

Instead of telling me that I'm beautiful as I am, or that I don't look that big, or that I don't need to "diet", please offer encouragement. Know that I am breaking twenty-four years of bad habits, and that it is going to take an astonishing amount of work on my part. Don't tempt me with fried, sugary, or fatty foods. I have no control when it comes to those and if I'm offered something - especially when I'm afraid I'll seem rude in saying no - I will eat it, and I will feel bad about it later. Please don't try to goad me into eating bagels or fast food. I'm very bad at saying no to myself or to others when it comes to food. I do much better when foods I shouldn't eat simply aren't around.

I think that with the support of those around me, I can do this. I can make a huge, positive change in my life. I have no illusions of this being easy, but I do hope that I can replace some bad habits with some good ones.

~Megan

What Do Vegans Eat?

The friends I am staying with in Ohio are vegan. I've been vegetarian in the past, and I guess I'm pescetarian now (meaning I eat seafood but no chicken, beef, or pork). I've been trying to be as plant-based and animal-free as possible, though I have had my challenges.

The one thing people always get confused on is what vegans can eat. Since the lifestyle (and diet especially) is considered a list of "can't eat" foods, most people think that in order to be vegan, you have to eat nothing but salads and pasta.

That is so far from the truth.

So far this weekend I have eaten:

Cereal

Chocolate hazelnut cake

Gyros complete with tatziki (seitan and soy)

Golden nuggets (they're like chicken nuggets but better)

A burger

Pancakes with sausage and bacon (made from tempeh)

Oatmeal cookie sandwiches with vanilla frosting

Grilled cheese sandwhiches

French fries with ranch dressing

Yes, products above like the burger, sausage, and bacon lack the exact taste and texture of meat. That doesn't mean they're not a very close approximation, though. The sausage was pretty dead on - the only giveaway was that it isn't as fatty and greasy as animal meat. 

When I eat a lot of vegan food, I get full to a satisfying level - not so full I feel sick or like I need to take a nap, just content.

Not only do I get to feel good after I eat because I don't feel sick, but I also have the satisfaction that no living creatures (well, besides plants) were tortured, abused, and killed for my meal. There really is something to that. 

If you can, I would recommend making some vegan choices. For your health, animals, the Earth, or simply for the fact that vegan food is delicious. You choose, any way, you win

~Megan

Oh-Hi-Oh

Get it, Ohio?

I slay myself.

But in all seriousness, I'm in Ohio visiting my best friend this weekend! It took around 8 hours to get here, but I always love coming. 

Especially since there was an ice storm at home while it was 55 degrees here. It's raining today, but there's a snowstorm happening in Wisconsin. I have no room to complain about the rain.

Especially when I can spend the day with my best friend watching Gossip Girl and making cupcakes. It's weekends like this that I really wish I lived closer. I'm considering applying to Ohio State for grad school. Not only is it a great school, but it has the added benefit of being basically right next to her.

As much as I love my friends and family back home, there really is something to be said for spending time with someone who has known you for the last ten years, good and bad.

~Megan

Plans A Through D

Like any college senior, I've been thinking about the future a lot lately.

You know, thinking, crying, drinking, laying in the dark under the covers wishing to be a freshman again. The usual coping methods.

But because I like to think that I'm proactive, I have devised a few plans just in case.

Plan A:
I'm applying to the Human Skeletal Biology MA program at NYU. The chances of me getting in are probably slim, but the application isn't due until March. Fingers crossed that I can get some good references by then. If I get in, I'll start next fall.

Plan B:
 Take one more semester at UWM (next fall) to build relationships/experience and apply for graduate school, starting fall 2015. So far my list includes: NYU, Harvard, Berkley, UCLA, Northwestern, University of Washington, University of Hawaii, and UWM. Fingers crossed I get into any of them.

Plan C:
Sort of an extension of plan B, in that it involves me getting into a program at UWM, which is my safety school. Since I'm already familiar with the faculty, I'm really hoping that I'll get in at least here. Bonus: I would get to stay an active sister of my sorority through graduate school!

Plan D:
I get in nowhere. I join the real world and get a job. I have no idea what I want to do besides grad school, so this one is tricky. I'd be happy making money in anything, but something to do with my field would be nice (though I have no idea what). This is the most frightening plan.

Plan E:
Okay, so this is like a fantasy plan. I get in nowhere. I decide that knowledge cannot be limited and I go back to school for a post bachelor's second degree. Maybe something practical, like a STEM field. Or history, kinesiology, religious studies. Maybe a certificate in death investigation. I'd love to keep going to school - partly because I love to learn and partly because I'm afraid of ending up in a job that I don't really want simply because I settled for one that has nothing to do with my real passions.

Okay, now that I'm terrified all over again, I'm going to go hide under some covers.

~Megan

Growing Pains Playlist

I feel like I've been coming out of a cocoon lately. It's an odd thing to describe, but I feel like my eyes are being opened to a lot that I hadn't previously seen. I'm gaining self-confidence by the bucketful, be that good or bad, and I'm starting to believe in the power of my own potential.

But like anything else, there are growing pains. Some mistakes just have to be made. Unfortunately for me, I'm the kind of person that never takes someone's word for it when they say that the stove is hot. I've got to burn myself first.

I also tend to be programmed to take the most difficult path, which is especially interesting considering I also tend to live live in extremes.

I'm always too hot or too cold. Bored or overwhelmed. Exhausted or full of energy. Shy or entirely too extroverted.

See the problem?

So while I'm enjoying all of these new life experiences, you can imagine what those growing pains look like. 

Nothing soothes the soul quite like music though, and I've been listening to one particular Pandora station for days. I'm so into it that I pulled a few tracks out and made myself a playlist. You know, so that I can continue to listen to things on repeat.

1. Kate Earl - You Can't Treat Me That Way

2. Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

3. - Massive Attack - Angel

4. Massive Attack - Teardrop

5. Moby - Porcelain

6. Kate Earl - Golden Street

7. Portishead - Glory Box

8. Nero - Promises

Of course, there are more songs that I've been really into lately and have on repeat, but these are all the same kind of chill vibe that's been keeping me grounded. I'm also realizing how much I love Massive Attack (obviously). 

So excuse me while I close my eyes, turn up the volume, and sing my heart out.

~Megan

Time Travel

I think I've finally found a way to make time go faster:

Become so busy you can't keep track of what day it is, what time it is, or if you've eaten yet.

It's practically a science. I'm going to be rich!

Ha.

But in all seriousness, how is it already the middle of October?! I haven't even started my Halloween costume, and midterms are next week. 

Truthfully though, I love when my life is this busy. I have a sense of purpose and impending doom. It doesn't sound like it, but that's actually my perfect recipe for a productive self. I know it's cliche, but I really do work best under pressure and let me tell you, I'm feeling it.

My classes are really picking up. Like I said, midterms are next week and I'm definitely not ready for them. I know I always say that, but this time I really mean it. I've been super distracted lately but stupid things and now I think I can focus properly.

Work is work, though I'm finally getting a handle on all of my responsibilities. The paperwork has taken forever for me to get the hang of. But I'm getting there!

I also decided to pledge a sorority, so I'm crazy busy with all of that. I really love it though, and since this is something I've always wanted to do for myself, I'm getting immense satisfaction from the process. Plus I'm getting to meet so many amazing women!

I'm still studying for the GRE, and compiling graduate school applications. I'm terrified of asking my professors for letters of recommendation, since I'm not super close with any of them and I haven't done any undergraduate research yet. My backup plan is to complete a second major if I don't get into any graduate schools by this year's deadline. I'll admit, I'll be crushed if that happens, but having a plan be is always good, right?

Oh, and the best part about this week? My best friend is in town! She moved to Ohio after college (which was in Iowa), and though we talk almost every day, I miss her like crazy. She's basically my other half, and I'm pretty sure if I didn't have her I'd actually go crazy.

I hope everyone is having a great week/month/semester!

~Megan

Anthropology: A Primer

In response to a comment: I actually get asked this question a lot. What is anthropology? What do you do with a degree in anthropology? Well friends, pull up a blanket, get cozy, and here goes nothing.

Anthropology comes from Anthrop, Greek for man, and -ology, meaning the study of. 

The study of man.

There are four (and a half) different fields in anthropology.

The first is Physical/Biological Anthropology. This is the study of how humans evolved and how we vary as a species. The focus of this field is primarily bones, whether chimpanzee or human. Forensic Anthropology (think Bones) comes from this field. (This is likely what I want to do when I grow up).

The next is Linguistic Anthropology. This is more than just linguistics, or the study of language. When looking at language from an anthropological point of view, we study the social context of language moreso than the specific semantics or grammar of a given language. Basically, the how, when, and why languages have developed and evolved.

Third, we have Archaeology. Everyone knows this one, thanks to Indiana Jones. The process of finding artifacts and remains, studying them to determine how a population lived and died, and cataloging them to preserve their history. To be completely honest, this is my least favorite field. At the beginning of this semester, I had hopes of joining a dig in Ireland or somesuch, and now after 5 weeks of an intro-level course, I'm pretty convinced I'd hate it.

Finally, we have Cultural Anthropology. This is probably what most people think of when I say that I study anthropology. Here we have the study of people and cultures. This ranges from religious studies, to ethnography (a study of a particular population), to the understanding of how today's cultures interact with one another. I happen to have a  lot of credit hours devoted to this field, simply because I find the material interesting. However, it is a bit of a soft science (meaning it involves a good deal of conjecture and a good deal of bias on the part of the scientist), and at present I'm interested in absolutes.

The half-field I mentioned is Museum Studies, which involves learning how to curate collections for museums, preserve and catalog artifacts, authenticate artifacts, and create exhibits for the general public to enjoy. This is kind of my backup plan, should I end up also disliking physical anthropology.

As for the "what are you going to do with a degree in that? question.

There are a couple answers. First, I could work in a field that requires a bachelor's degree as minimum education. That would be better than what I was doing before, and I wouldn't complain. I would happily do secretarial work with my degree as long as I had a job.

Second, there's graduate school. I'm taking the GRE (Graduate Records Exam) next month, which basically determines which, if any, graduate school I can attend. Fingers crossed, because that's my plan A.

Anthropology is one of those things that, in order to work strictly in my field, requires a doctorate. I'd love a doctorate. It's been my dream since I was little to have a PhD. (I know, dream big right?) It is also one of those fields that can be creatively parlayed into other things, such as data analysis or corporate research. You know, if I ever wanted to do something like that. 

And now, you know.

~Megan